Investigators are stunned by another murder in the Ottawa area. The victim was Piggy, aged 5, who was described by those who knew her best as “Nice plump, friendly bacon.”
Her remains were discovered Tuesday afternoon by The Lady. Piggy had suffered a serious head injury, an ear had been amputated and brains and guts were found all over the couch and the floor.
Prior to this grisly discovery, Miss Hailey Bug was seen hanging out with Piggy on the bed. Investigators will not comment if Miss Bug is a suspect in this murder. Miss Bug has been terrorizing Ottawa for the past 2 months but due to poor police work has not been charged with any crimes.
Piggy is predeceased by Monkey and Phallic Monkey. She is survived by Baby, Baby Baby, Heart Baby, Bunny, Horse and Froggy.