Monday, August 15, 2016

Mischief Monday - A Big Fat Fail

I will start by saying no one was hurt in the following incident (ok, I have a little leash burn on my left hand, but no serious injuries). People and dogs were scared, and my heart was broken, but no one was seriously physically hurt.

Yesterday on our lovely long Sunday morning walk, on a dead end narrow road another clearly fearful dog was approaching. The boarder collie's owner, said "good morning, you have your hands full". I said something about my dogs not use to seeing other dogs but they were friendly.

Then it went to hell. Hailey lost her mind. She completely freaked out, which put Phod into protect my Lady and Lee mode. As I was trying to control them, I told the owner of the other dog to keep walking.

The next part is a blur, I was dragged across the street, both my dogs teeth are bared, the owner is screaming, his dog is freaking out, I am screaming.

No contact with teeth was made.

They were able to get around us and continue down the road and I was able to get mine, who instantly calmed down to continue the other way.

The owner yelled "have a nice day"  and I yelled how sorry I was.

As we walked the 2 km home (I managed not to cry until we got home) I realized, I was that owner. I was the owner who said my dogs are nice, but can't control them.  I look and feel like a completely irresponsible dog owner.

On the walk home and after talking to the Man I realized I can't take the 2 for a walk alone, it is too risky. I can't control them both in these situations. The problem being Hailey. Her energy makes Phod go on guard and he feels he has to protect us. She turns my gentle, gentle boy into a dog I don't like. (Ok, I can think of situations I would like to have a protective dog, but this was not one of them).

The Man says this wouldn't happened with him. Which makes me angry (as I do 99.9% of the walking etc. and he is never going to join us to help me) and sad because it makes me feel like a failure. Some of the reasons it wouldn't happen with him is he is stronger, Phod never feels he has to protect him, and to be honest Phod in particular is a big more fearful of the Man. I think that is his history of being abused. Hailey would have acted the exact same, but Phod wouldn't have escalated and the Man would have been able to hold on.

Going forward, Hailey will get the morning walk, as Phod can get a lot of exercise playing ball in the yard. I think in the evening, Hailey would have to play in the yard (not as much exercise for her as she has to be on leash) and I will walk Phod. I am going to have to get up earlier to make this happen, but as a dog owner, that is what I have committed too.




38 comments:

  1. Oh gosh, that's stressful. But try not to be so hard on yourself. Sometimes Ruby reacts to certain people and it always happens when I am not prepared - the one day I forget the clicker and treats at home to distract her or the one time I look down at my phone for a second. It happened just yesterday and I felt so bad. Out of the blue, she growled and tried to lunge at someone. I caught her in time, but it was still so stressful.

    No one was hurt yesterday and you did your very best so don't beat yourself up.

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  2. I'm so sorry that this walk made such a bad memory for you :o( I feel incomplete and useless sometimes when it comes to such happenings, I always think that Easy will not accept me as his protector and starts to act as mine... but I saw that the same happens when Mark is on the other end of the leash... maybe some dogs send out secret signals what drives a mostly well behaved behaved dog crazy? Easy has such an "enemy" too, it is a black Lab girl, I always thought they will have each other for breakfast. The owner always waves at us or we wave at him and then we try to avoid a meet&greet. Till saturday as the lab girl slipped trough her collar, ran in our direction and gave me a body check as I tried to be the wall between her and Easy. I thought it ends with stitches and vet bills but they jumped around like monkeys and played together.... I thought the problem is solved, but nope, today we had the same shit with showing teeth and brushes on the backs... crazy...

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  3. You nose how sumtimes as peeps you meet another peep you just don't like fur sum reason, well us pups is just the same so pleeeeease don't be upset, it just happens sumtimes. Sending you luffs and hugs
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  4. Oh you poor thing! You're not one of THOSE owners. THOSE owners don't care about anyone or anything. You care. You are NOT irresponsible. Everyone has days when things don't go the way they should. I'm sure the other owner didn't blame you. You did your best to appease the situation. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Hailey and Phod are beautiful! They are so lucky to have you ... Charlie's Mum, Lynn.

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  5. it is hard isn't it - and YES - it is so frustrating that we women who feed them, clean up after them and pamper them are never the top dog in their eyes and never have the same control as the men. It is the same here - hubby is the pack leader and he only had to tsk tsk at the boys and they instantly fall into line.

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  6. I am sorry to read this, but it is not all bad. Nothing happened to any dog or person and you figured out something that can trigger undesired behavior. Now you can make sure not to be in that position again and train with that behavior in mind. But also realize when dogs act as dogs, it is not personal. They are in many respects just acting out of instinct. Best of luck with your new routine.

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  7. Hari OM
    Ugh... lucky your arm is still in its socket. It's the shock which hits us; the dogs are just being dogs. I shall never forget the one time, after six years of perfect behaviour, Jade decided she didn't like this one standard black poodle passing her gate. I had no idea she could leap that high. Adrenaline. It was all dust and fluff and snarl and nary a drop of blood. We two owners, though, were in a complete state from it. When we were out walking, Jade never gave me any trouble - but from that day on, she became a boundary guarder and I had to have everything strengthened and heightened. I got to know her signals too and was able to modify her behaviour over time. But it does take dedication - and as dog pawrents, 'tis what we must do. ((((((((HUGS))))))), YAM xx

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  8. I'm so sorry. That's such a frustrating position to be in. I have a hard time sometimes when Jessie goes into her crazy mode, and my two are at least a lot smaller. You do what you've gotta do. :(

    -Andrea

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  9. OMG!!! I am so sorry for you. Thank god no one was seriously physically hurt. I am wishing you all the best.
    Kim

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  10. YOU are not that owner. You are a loving owner who is always trying hard to find a way to make both of their lives better. It sounds like you have found a solution. Hugs deb

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  11. Oh my gosh Kristen...bless your heart..you are a loving owner. I've seen your dogs they are well behaved. I think it is only natural for them to jump to your defense....and we all know from the BAR when one dog gets excited they all do. You are probably right walking one at a time is better.
    Hugs Madi and Mom

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  12. Oh, that's so scary! We're glad no one was seriously hurt. It's very frustrating, I know.
    You'll find a way to make it work. Please don't be hard on yourself.
    KZK

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  13. Our mom had to deal with this stuff when she had to walk me and angel Mitch together when dad was away. Mitch was leash aggressive and I would back him up. We wore pinch collars on those walkies. Mom wouldn't have done it any other way. We were both just too strong for her to handle together. Pinch collar get lots of negative press but Mitch wore one almost his whole entire life and he was a happy boy who loved his walks. The pinch collar never hurt him.

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    1. I wear a pinch collar on walks to protect my throat from being hurt by pulling on a collar. After the first pinch, I stopped pulling any time I had it on.

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  14. Cookie here: Mum read your post to me. I will say that I react that way to almost all the dogs here in the complex; but my leash is attached to mum's wheelchair so I cannot get into things. Mum says she empathizes with you -- a few years back a stray pit mix followed her and Cody home and she kept him. Only problem was that he was NOT attached to the wheelchair and would pull hard on the leash and she pulled mum out of the chair a couple of time, which was when mum decided that he had to go -- she was very upset about it, but she had only had him a couple of months so it was not so difficult to do. So, as you can see, she and I can really empathize with you and think your plan will work.

    ttfn and toodle pip
    Cookie and Marley

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  15. Bless your heart my dear friend ((Hogs and snout kisses)). Some of us anipals will be just us anipals. I know mom can't walk me and Houdini together - no way. We both go in separate directions. I'm so glad you were not hurt anymore than what you were sweet friends. My mom says she feels you so badly. XOXO - Bacon

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  16. I wonder, as the other reader mentioned, if a pinch collar would help. We are glad you weren't hurt any worse than a leash burn, and are sorry you even got that. And please remember, it wasn't your fault.

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  17. Wow that really was a scary incident. This must have been the weekend for them, because we had a scary encounter with a very big dog too. And my husband always says the same thing when Daisy goes into freak-out mode - "She never does that with me." He rarely takes her for her walks, so it could just be that he hasn't faced the same challenges that we have, or, like you said, she doesn't feel she has to protect a 6'2" muscular man as much as she wants to protect a 5'2" 110 lb woman. Anyway, I'm glad you're all okay and it sounds like you have a good plan moving foward from this.

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  18. You are NOT one of those owners!! You apologized, you were concerned and you felt remorse. I have met THOSE owners and, after meeting you and your pack, can say you are DEFINITELY NOT one of "them"

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  19. It's important as a dog owner to understand your own dogs and do what's best for them, and you're clearly doing that. Glad nobody got hurt! When angel Katie was still here, I would walk her with Christmas twice a day and once I even took a third dog into the mix for a walk, the neighbor's English Springer Spaniel named Molly. I know Christmas and Katie well enough to know they would never react to cars, people, other dogs, cats, etc. but of course I always keep my dogs right beside me when we're walking and make sure they don't try to run off. Anyway, I had gotten to know Molly very well, enough to know I was safe walking her with the other two. I stayed calm and assertive (I don't agree with a lot of Cesar Millan methods but this one I do) and the dogs respected and obeyed me. Glad you found a schedule that will work for you and will keep everyone safe and happy!

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  20. Oh dear that does sound a stressful encounter. I don't really have any relevant experience of big dogs, so I won't start giving advice, but I'm confident you'll work out a good plan which has the best interests of both you, Hailey and Phod at heart.
    All the best,
    Gail.

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  21. So sorry that this happened - but we agree with everyone - we know you are a good dog owner.
    hugs
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

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  22. Same thing happened to us on our morning walk! Very embarrassing. Don't know why they act so nuts when on a lead. Glad there were no injuries....well, bad injuries.

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  23. I'm just so relieved for you that no one was hurt. As someone who has two reactive dogs I can totally understand. I walk mine all separately, and even though I feel bad that means they don't get as many walks, we do what we have to keep everyone safe. We focus on more play time in the yard.
    Yeah, the men always have the answers but they don't want to walk the dogs.
    You had your dogs on leashes, you ultimately were able to control them, even if it was a struggle, no one got hurt - so you have nothing to feel bad about. My issue is always with people who are letting their dogs run loose and at my dogs - they are THOSE dog owners - you're not.

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  24. Dear Lady,

    We are very sorry this happened. It sounds very stressful. As a Dog who sometimes gets nervous, I know it is harder to hear sounds or see other Dogs/people in places where there are usually no sounds or other Dogs/people. This is hard. The same thing may or may not have happened with Man, there is no way to know for sure! We are sending you many licks and wags. We hope you can do something nice for yourself tonight - after taking such good care of Lee and Phod, we hope you have something nice to take care of you too!

    Licks,
    Cobi + Ojo

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  25. Okay here's the truth from your Canadian friend. My dad and mom don't walk all of us at the same time and Owen (my brother)always gets to walk by himself because he is reactive (fearful aggressive) and walking him with another one of us, would endanger everyone. So with respect to your situation, (1) you are not a failure (2) you learned some new things, (3) Your not going to walk them together (4) Your furry kids still love you and so does the man (5) No one got hurt (6) Things will get better (7) We still like you and your kids (8) Go have some ice cream or bacon. Things always look better after you've had some (9) Yes you can stay with us if Mr. Trump gets elected :)

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  26. Oh, aarrgh. Thank goodness no tooth contact was made and everybody is alright. My old dog hated people and other dogs. I was a street crosser whenever I saw another dog coming. I put one of those yellow warning ribbons on her leash for what it's worth, and when the owner of an off leash dog would call out, "Don't worry. He's friendly." I would scream back, "MY DOG IS NOT!!!!!" Separate walks sounds like a good plan. So it turns out you are NOT "that" dog owner. You are a responsible, sensible, safe dog owner.

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  27. I'm sorry. :( At least you have a solid plan going forward!

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  28. That is a terrible experience. There was no fighting so you did control the situation. Walking them separately might be a good idea. The man sounds like he might need a kick upside the head

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  29. I am so sorry you had this happen.
    You didn't do anything wrong, the dogs wanted to protect you.

    Thank you for expressing your view so that others can learn from it.
    xo Astro

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  30. We're sorry to hear you had such a difficult time. Please don't be too hard on yourself. There are very few of us that have perfect dogs. We sure aren't.

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  31. I am so sorry this happened too
    love
    tweedles

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  32. Oh man. Yuppers, I do this to Ma sometimes too. Though, Ma knows I"m not a 'nice' doggie most of the time to other dogs I don't know. Butts, there is just me. If she had two of me...well, she would have road rash too! I know the feeling of failure. Ma does sometimes too. She gets embarrassed, and apologizes ~ not for me, but more for her. She knows there is probably something, somewhere that could help, butts she hasn't found it. So, she knows what my triggers are, and avoids them. Mostly strange dogs. We are lucky, because we are in the Burbs, and she can just cross the street, and I might bark, butts it's not too bad. Dogs that aren't on leashes are the worse! that is a story for another day....
    I am so glad you guys are okay. And, maybe I should send a couple of pitchers of margaritas up there....☺ {{hugs}}
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  33. Of course it wouldn't have happened with The Man since he doesn't walk them! I would have told him that wasn't a helpful comment & probably would have called him an ass too. :) It would be nice if he could give you a hand, depending on his work schedule.

    Maggie & Duke were very similar, luckily they weren't big enough to pull me over unless it was icy. Our neighbors have heard me say "knock it off, jerks" on more than one occasion. So far Relic and Duke have been good, but we haven't seen that many dogs on walks with the summer heat. Good luck!

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  34. Oh my gosh, my heart hurts for you because I know exactly how you feel. First, please, do not beat yourself up. I know your heart is broken, but nobody was physically harmed (minus the leash burn). There have been many instances on our walks where I was the one trying to wrangle two reacting dogs. (Sampson because he wants the meet and Delilah because she is reacting to the energy.)

    My husband says the same thing as the man, and it pisses me off. If he would just walk with me, or even walk one of the dogs, it sure would help a lot. Instead I walk two dogs and I walk them separately, (part of that is Sampson's bum leg) but I have to tell you, I enjoy the walks more. Yes, it is more work for me, but it gives me one on one time with the dogs and opportunity to work them both.

    I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I know you are hurt and disappointed. I just hope you go gentle on yourself. Hugs to you friend.

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  35. I didn't know about this and I am so sorry. Yes, don't beat yourself because it COULD have happened to anyone. I do agree though, that "The Man" needs to help with this if he is at all able to.

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  36. Please don't feel like a failure, the only reason I am able to walk Tuiren and Fenris together on the beach is my friend Tammy walks with us and walks Tuiren, while I walk Fenris. Tuiren is too unpredictable for me to risk trying to control them both. Looks like you found a good solution walking them separately. You could also try to find a walking buddy.

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  37. Well bugger. You are not a failure, you just have a good dog in Phod who protects you and a heightened dog in Lee who is over reactive. Things happen, no one was hurt and you have thought of a solution. Quit beating yourself up, you are the best Mom they could have.

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