Monday, January 7, 2013

Grief at Month 17

Wow, it has been a long time since we lost our beloved Gemini in an accident (which I witnessed). I haven't written about my grief and mild form of post traumatic stress disorder (which makes this much different then my grief over my little Loki ) for some time because it hasn't really been a problem. While I can still feel sad, it hasn't been the overwhelming, crushing sense of sadness like the first few months.

Hurray up, you are boring me!
However, I had a bit of a minor set back over the holidays. We finally got around to hanging some of the pictures in our house (I know almost 5 months and it hadn't been done). During this we came across some baby pictures of our Gemi. It made me very sad. That night I went to bed and all I did was dream about my little angel. She was sitting on this red blanket we had before someone destroyed it (by someone I mean Hailey), yawning and looking bored (Gemi style) while I was making videos of her.

Like most of my dream, this dream was so vivid and real, and it brought up my feelings of loss. I felt that big crushing sense of grief which, as I said, I hadn't felt for months. I was able to keep busy that day cleaning (and was able to prevent it from completely paralyzing me as it has in the past) and we had company for dinner and this helped.
It will be ok mom

It is a reminder to me that the break in my heart will always be there, it will never fully heal. But now I know, I can work through it and it will pass and I will then be left with the happier memories of the time I spent with my Gemi.


  1. How sad. Try and focus on the good times. We know that is not always easy. Take Care. Lovely pix of Gemi.
    Best wishes Molly

  2. Oh so sad. When you dream, they can appear to be so real,then morning comes and it's sad as it was only a dream. Like Molly said, try focus on the good times :) xx0xx

    Mollie and Alfie

  3. Yeap, Mom & Dad agree, its hard to forget all the passed pals they had. Somtimes they even call Bites by the wrong Name.

    Your Pals
    Susie & Bites

  4. Dreams are very bittersweet, but in some way, I like to imagine it's a way of their spirit saying hello. Such a vivid subconscious connection is so poignant, and is a true reflection of the love you shared, esp with sweet Gemi.
    Happy wags, and thoughtful hugs,

    Loki & Laura

  5. It has been over a year and a half since we lost our Billy, and sometimes we still call Miss Mindy, Billy. We so loved him and will never forget! I do hope you had special times with Gemi though!

  6. Having memories of Gemi is bound to get you through.
    Benny & Lily

  7. Try and focus on the good and happy times youse spent together, she is a beautiful angel and will be with you in your heart forever<3
    Loads of Love Milo:)

  8. You is very brave to work through your griefs like that. Gemi must has been a special kind of dog; surely you will see Gemi again someday.


  9. Thank you all for your kind words. Gemi was special and I am sure is making a wonderful angel!


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