Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Blogville Pawlice Academy - Lessons from Hailey

Good morning class, welcome to our discussion on paperwork and jailer training. I hope you will find this useful.

As you can see, I am an excellent
sheet shredder
As office manager of the Blogville Police Department, I wanted to take some time to go over the paperwork required as an active member of the police force.

While paper can be very tasty (I have eaten enough paper myself over the years) and shredding it can be fun, it is important to keep it intact to make sure our criminals have appropriate sheets.  I will be responsible for shredding any sheets that need to be. 

To help up keep consistent, I have created this sheet that is to be filled in for our activity reports. Officers are expected to complete this after every shift and submit it to me.

Patrol Officer:

Number of donuts/cookies eaten

Number of squirrels seen

Areas patrolled

Suspicious Activity seen

Calls Responded to

Arrests Made

Number of butts sniffed

As jailer it is my responsibility to make sure everyone is locked up nice and tight. When a criminal is brought in, the arresting officer, will sign our log. This will help us make sure that we know who we have.

Blogville Jail Sign In/Out
Arresting Officer
Day/Time In
Day/Time Out

Cells need to be appropriate so there is no jail breaks.
As an expert jail breaker, I have personally inspected
all our cells. 
Once the criminal has been signed in, the arresting officer and I will give him/her a close inspection to make sure that he/she don’t have any weapons or other dangerous substances. We will make sure they are paw or finger printed and butt sniffed. I will then select the cell that is the most appropriate for perpetrator. Each cell will have a bed, access to an appropriate bathroom and fresh water 24-7.

Assisting with Guard Duty

While I am an excellent guard (I have great vision and smelling and am always on alert), I will need some assistance because I occasionally need to nap.

A day in the jail will look like the following:

7 am –breakfast – chicken and rice
9-11 – Exercise time – small groups or individual secure time will be provided as needed
11-2 – nap time
2-4 - mandatory counselling or treatments as needed
4-6 – nap time and visiting hours
7pm -dinner – chicken and rice
8-10 – library or TV time. Email access for good behaviour
10 pm – lights out

Note: Baths will only be given if requested by those in our care because I will not allow water torture to occur on my watch.

Let me now demonstrating the lock up procedure.

First you go to the cell and put the key in the lock. 

Turn the lock and open the door. Then the perp goes in. Close the door, turn the key, remove the key, give the door a shake to make sure it is locked properly. 

Easy - thank you for your demonstration, but it is not nap time! 

Thank you to Ranger, for overseeing our class. Please let either of us know if you have any questions.


  1. What a brilliant class! You did a fabulous job, complete with demonstrations. No doubt the new class of pawlice has learned a lot from you today!

    Hugs, Sammy

  2. blogville is in very safe paws for sure - I don't think there will be any crime committed with all these pups on the job

  3. Nice one. Great job. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

  4. Number of donuts eaten! Gosh, had I known that was part of the job ...I would have signed up for duty!

  5. Hey Hailey!
    Wow, excellent work today! OMD your forms are perfect and I'll be interested in reviewing those stats every day. I think you'll get a lot of volunteers when paper shredding is on te schedule. BOL Great class and the recruits were totally focused.
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, Police Commish

  6. Hari OM
    Hailey - you look totally HOT in those spectacles...ahem... You surely are the right choice for your pawsition, those charts are well planned and you have the jailing thing down to a claw... well done!!! Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

  7. Hailey I was just thinking that jail kinda sounds like our home. Angus Mac

  8. What an excellent job you're doing!

  9. I think that the prisoners seem to feel good in your prison :)

  10. OMD you are in RARE GOOD "FORM" today... We love them...
    NOTE TO SELF (Judge Furter): do not lick paws after handling the FORMS that have yellow or brown stains... this is a class of YOUNG recruits...

    I (Judge Furter) am pleased to see that the recruits are MUCH more attentive in class TODAY... I believe they OVER INDULGED in the Donuts yesterday.. and suffered a serious Sugar High...
    Your class was EXCELLENT and VERY ENTERTAINING... Need I say MORE?? BRAVO !!

  11. Hailey I hope you will not lose the key for that door hahahaha Is it allowed to take the treats away from the pockets of that criminals?
    Easy Ridedr

  12. Hailey, that was a great class...and all of blogville now understands...we will not tolerate wrong fine job. Say did you have to entice any of them Juniors with Donuts?

    Top Cop Bites

  13. Glad to see plenty of nap time in the schedule.
    Could I volunteer as office paper shredder?
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  14. Very good but I don't see s time for donuts
    Lily & Edward

  15. I think everybody needs to come back to my place for some more doughnuts at my pub....hehehe,xx Speedy


  17. BOL at da activity reports. What a grrrrrrreat class!
    Thanks you for being one of our ACE instructors.

  18. Chicken and Rice? They get chicken and rice? Maybe Dui's on the wrong side....bwahaahaa!

    Thanks for the class, more information to digest!

  19. Hi hi hi! Ojo here! Cousin Lee, you look very smart! I can help you with the doughnut counting!

  20. Crikey .... I nearly missed this class. We haven't met before and my Secretary, Mum, is nowhere near as efficent as you Miss, er, Officer Hailey and if it wasn't for Sarge I wouldn't be here. Mum's fixed the problem now and we are following you so I won't be missing anymore classes. How good is that???
    Crikey I hope you don't mind me saying but I really like a sheila in glasses and you sure wear 'em well. I'm a bit worried about those forms I've gotta fill out though. So much paperwork ........

  21. Can I steal some of da prisoners' chicken and rice?

  22. Wow! Paperwork is very hard! Do I have to log every donut? Sometimes I sleep eat and cannot be responsible for jelly-filled dreams! Pierre said one of the moles he took down was carrying a weapon in his cheeks! Awesome class! ☺

  23. Great training Hailey! I learned so much today! One questions...Do the Junior Officers get to nap at the same time as the prisoners? We need our rest. If so, will blankies and pillows be provided or do we need to bring our own?

    Junior Officer Riley

  24. Way to go, Hailey! Your glasses make you look so smart! What about Miranda rights? Will you read your arrestees their rights? Last but not least - Did you let Easy out of there???

  25. Wow Hailey, my head is just about full up of info.....What a great teacher you are!!
    Salute Smileys!

  26. Wow, we are so impressed with the training of this new class!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  27. Lee, you forgot to mention a cavity search and I don't me looking at their teeth. BOL. Sorry my assistant has been drinking a little.

    Aroo to you,

  28. I don't think dose cells would hold a skwirrel or rat-- dey could git out right 'tween dose bars....

    So can we gives dem da ole shakey shakey instead?

  29. Outstanding job!!! Blogville is safe thanks to you and our great police force. Thank you for your service.

    Loveys Sasha


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