The bed

Lady: "Lee's I would like to talk to you about the bed."

Lee: "What about it? I haven't peed on it lately."

Lady: "No you haven't but . . . . "

Lee: "But what?"

Lady: "Well, I am not sure I like your new fondness for unmaking it all the time. I really like going to sleep in a nicely made bed, not one with all the sheets and blankets in the middle."

Lee: "Oh. I think you are wrong Lady. I love you, but covers shouldn't be flat and sheets shouldn't be attached to the bed. They should be in a big ball on top. You have to dig it and make the perfect pile. It is actually a lot of work and an art to get it just right."

Lady: "I don't love it. But what I love even less is the fact that you are now trying to bring that gross piece of raw hide and burying it in the bed. I told you if you were going to dig it out of the garden and bring it into the house you needed to keep it off the furniture."

Lee: "I am sorry Lady, but the only safe place for it is in the bed. The bad cats won't steal it there. But don't worry, I finished eating that one, so it is not a problem."

Lady: "Great. While on the subject of the bed, what is with sleeping on it. Last night when I fell asleep you were curled up under the covers between me and the man. I think I liked it better when you slept under the bed."

Lee: "I liked it better when the house was the correct temperature and I wasn't freezing. Maybe if you weren't so cheap and would turn the heat on, I wouldn't have to snuggle for warmth."