Lady: I am a little disappointed that you wandered to the neighbour's the other day Phod.
Phod: The snow is hard enough I can go over, and I haven't seen my kids or my Derek (Callie's Man) and I miss them very much. I am a good neighbour and wanted to make sure they are ok.
Lady: You know you are suppose to stay in our yard and come when you are called.
Phod: You know my hearing isn't what it used to be and I don't adhere to manmade boundaries. Besides my Derek always says it is ok I come over.
Lady: So you are saying you just wandered over to visit? Then why did you come out from under the back deck, with a huge smile eating cat poop?
Phod: I am a very good neighbour and I am just trying to help keep the neighbourhood clean, and you don't feed me enough.
Lady: Lies - you get lots to eat. You are a disgusting and gross dog and I am going to trade you in for a less gross version. You obsessive poop eating is becoming a problem.
Phod: You would never trade me in Lady - idol threat - just like it would be an idol promise that I would stay in the yard and not eat poop.
Lady: I feel like we are at an impasse . . . . However, I am going to do some research into stopping this obsessive poop eating. It is new for you and is a bit out of control.
Phod: Can I either go back into the closet to sleep or outside to hunt for poop? This conversation is boring me.
Lady: Oh Phod!