I love my people, but they make me do stupid things to get treats. If they really loved me they would just give me the treats. I try hard just to stick my head into the cookie bag, but they make me earn a lot of them. Before we started this new training I could sit, stay when I felt like it, give a paw, bang (where I fall over and play dead), watch TV and usually come. I could live with this.
Now I am being home schooled and while I love all the treats I think some of the things are stupid. I have mastered paws up and pray and dance. I think bow is the stupidest thing ever and am having trouble with this one. A girl shouldn't stick her bum up in the air like that. I got hi five really fast (it is just paw so I don't know what they were so excited about), but am not sure about wave. Why would I wave when I can wag my tail? We also tried something they called "hup" where I had to walk through my people's arms.
There are 3 other stupid things my people are making me do every day: tolerating brushing (this isn't so bad); brushing my teeth (if they stick to the outside it isn't so bad, I don't love the inside); and my least favourite thing, the thing that makes all the training seem like a fun good time - pretend nail clipping. This is where the people touch a metal thing to my paws. Everyday. I hate it. There are not enough treats in the world to make this seem like a good idea.
While I am happy being an only dog I wonder if my people need a second dog to torture. All this love and attention may be too much.