I will see you in my dreams

I have been blessed (and cursed) with the ability to have amazingly clear dreams. The blessing is that the good dreams are so good and real and enjoyable; the curse is the bad dreams are also so  clear and vivid and can stay with me for days and weeks. In my dreams I see colour, I smell things, I taste things and I feel things.

Occasionally I have dreams with Loki and Gemini and this week I had a dream with our little Loki in it.
My crazy dream went something like this.

Loki was still alive but our Gemini was not [which made me mad because I should at least be able to save her in my dreams, but I guess my guilt prevents this]. He was alive but he was having a 3rd serious health problem. [Loki had an autoimmune disorder and he had 2 'crisis' before dying]. He was at the vet. Our vet had called and talked to the Man and said they needed to keep him for another day.

I decided to walk to the clinic and get cat food [FYI we live 60 km from the clinic I would not walk there]. I arrive and the reception area is more like an airport, there are like 50 people waiting in line. I manage to race to the front of a new line as they open it and order my food. While I am waiting for them to get it, it occurs to me that I could visit Loki while I was here. So I ask if I can do that and they say no, it is too busy. Then I decide I will do something unfair. I ask to speak to the vet. I say I have questions about Loki and I know he is here and I can wait. I know if I ask him if I can see Loki I will get to. [The joys of having a friend who is a vet! I do have some post dream guilt for manipulating this relationship to see my dog, but I think all true dog lovers would].

This picture was taken of Loki in July of 2009 shortly after his liver biopsy. Loki was always an amazing sport at the vet,  I believe in all the tests, blood work (at times bi-weekly) he only growled 1 time and everyone was shocked. He loved the vet and the clinic. However, what he didn't love was me dressing him up and taking pictures of him, so this is why he was very unhappy with me.  I think in the context of my dream he is thinking, you couldn't even dream me healthy, thanks!

While I was waiting they bring Loki out in our cats crate with a big stack of meds to take. I was now very confused because I thought he had to stay. The receptionist said they got the test done and he could go home. They explain that he will need a lot of medication and are worried that we won't be able to handle it. I laugh because in Loki's last year of life he was on as many as 15 pills a day and we had charts and pill storage containers and pill cutters to keep it all straight, so we had done this before. Of course I have walked so I call the Man to come and get me. While I was waiting the vet comes out and I ask why he didn't let us know Loki was ready to come home. He said he sent a new "plasma" email and he guessed it wasn't compatible with our email so we didn't get it. At any rate, he was ready to go with all this medication.

While I never got to hold Loki in this dream because he was in the crate, I got to see his big bug brown eyes and his soft puppy fur (a side effect from the drugs he took when he was dying). It was nice to have that time with him, even if it was only in my dreams . . . . . .

Have a happy Saturday