If you go away you are gonna pay -by Lee and Phod

Lee: Dear blog readers let me tell you about how horrible my life is.

Phod: Let me just say, I don't know if I agree with Lee, I . . . 

Lee: Ignore him, he is a people pleaser. Anyway, for 2 weeks my people didn't leave us much. They were sick and stuff so we got to have them all day and I didn't have to wear my stupid hug [editors note: Hug = ThunderShirt]. This week they have been back to work and I have been mad and I have shown them.

Phod: I told her not to. Anything I did was because she made me. I want to make her happy too. I just want everyone to be happy.

Lee: The first thing I orchestrated was "Operation No Cookies for you." I made Phod surf the counter and get this container that had people peanut butter cookies that my Lady made for the Man, and we ate them."

Pieces of the broken cookie container

Phod: Lady, if it makes it better, they were good and I feel shame. When you and the Man found it, I cowered on the floor and peed. I really am trying to be good. 

[Editor's note: Fortunately they were just peanut butter, sugar and egg, so safe for bad pups to eat]

Lee: I do not feel bad. I am only mad that you did a better job at putting the good stuff far back on the counter. However, I showed you by making my own fun with what you left me.  I put in place "Operation Hot Potato".

The bag of potatoes all over the floor

Phod: I was excited, I thought they were balls, this is why you found some even in the basement, I knocked them down. Then I realized these weren't balls and Lady would be mad, so I cowered when she came home, but I didn't pee today.

[Editor's note: it breaks my heart when he cowers and shakes and waits for a beating. When this happens I just ignore him and I hope this will go away].

Lee: I don't think this made the Lady mad enough. She just said "Oh Hailey, what will I do with you!" I will have to think of something else tomorrow (the Lady is working at home today so I can annoy her in other ways). I don't want to do anything dramatic like eat the wall again (for those who may be new to my blog that I will kinda share with Phod click here). That makes them too mad, I need something that makes them the right amount of mad. I will go to dog shaming and look for ideas. Soon they will stay home all the time with me.